Friday, September 28, 2007

How random can I get? Let's see then, shall we?

Things I've always wanted to say/wish I could get away with saying in everyday conversation.

I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Sure, this isn't original or anything, and nobody even laughs at it any more...but boy, wouldn't it be great if just once you could say it and someone would go all big-eyed and ask, "Really?"

Don't hate the playa, hate the game. Doesn't this just sound like it would be fun to say? Alas, since I'm not a playa, guess I don't have any game to hate on.

Chris Hansen is such a cock block. In case you don't know, Chris Hansen is the host guy of that "To Catch a Predator" show...Now you see why this comment is horribly, horribly offensive? I'd really like to say it just to piss someone off.

Seacrest...out! Yeah, ok, call me lame, but I really think this is a cool little catch phrase.

What up, dawg? I have actually used this one. However, coming from me it did not sound sounded freaking retarded and several people issued loud snorts to cover their laughs. Motherf***ers! I'll pop a cap in they ass....

Arg! Am suffering horribly from PMS...which Pretty Much Sucks if you ask me. (Like the acronym? Figured it out all by my clever little self.)
Feeling ridiculous and crazy and cranky and I swear I have eaten everything that wasn't flipping nailed down today. Just call me an American Fat Ass (Thank you , Kid Rock).
We've decided on a theme for the new business building. It's pretty lofty...we're going to transform this place into Alice in Wonderland. We're doing big forest murals on the walls (think huge mushrooms, flowers, etc...) and I came up with the idea to cloud the ceiling with green gauzy material and string white Christmas lights in it to look all twinkly and intimate....So excited. I do tend to run a little wild with these kinds of ideas, so I hope someone reigns me in, otherwise I'll spend our entire operating budget on decor...And she actually wants me to buy half the business....

OK, since it's the weekend and I'll be away til Monday (with details of meeting L's fam, of course.)I'll leave you with another list. This one is....
Things I've never done, but really want to:
Johnny Depp

Go through a haunted house or corn maze thing at Halloween.

Johnny Depp

Sing in a band.

Star in a Tim Burton film....with Johnny Depp.

Play Rizzo in a production of Grease.

and finally.....

Johnny Depp.

There you go, folks! Have a great weekend!!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

I've been invaded

--Now I know how people feel when my friends and I walk into a store and we act like idiots. There are three first-year teachers in here right who graduated like, two years or more after I did. Doing Dana Carvey impressions (how do they even know Dana Carvey? Really.) and picking stuff up and saying, "I love this!" and "Dude, this is neat!" What I'm really thinking is that it's two gay guys and a fag hag.
Cuh-ray-zee. Ok, so maybe they were a little bit fun and completely enjoyable.

--Have developed new habit of giving Fed Ex drivers dirty looks.

--Am thinking that Gaymail might be faking the gay to pick up chicks...has stopped being FABULOUS around me, and now comes in and winks as he calls me "Pretty Lady". Also, he is trying to make lunch dates more frequently.

--Planning to attend a family barbecue thing with L on Sunday (his family). Am debating as to whether or not to bring the children. I'll be meeting both of his that day, so maybe I'll add mine to the mix at a later time...Feeling nervous about him meeting my boys b/c they get attached to ppl very quickly. Feeling VERY nervous about being thrown into this all-family situation. May vomit.

--Took the boys to see the Budweiser Clydesdales on Saturday. They were in town for some reason or another. X went right up to the thing and petted it...L(kid L, not boyfriend L) clung to me like a baby koala and was screaming, "Noooooo Cow! Noooooo Cow!" But I guess he was regretting not touching it b/c every day since he's woken up and the first thing out of his mouth is always, "I want to pet the cow." So now I guess I'll be taking them to L's dad's farm to see a cow and pet a horse. Really not sure why he gets those mixed up sometimes...

--Just saw a girl wearing pink pants covered in blue flames. Am setting up emergency fashion fund for victims of bad clothing. Call if you'd like to donate.

--Funny...when I spellchecked this, Clydesdales came up...know what the alternate word for it was? Gladstones. What??

Friday, September 21, 2007

Help me out here, people

This post is about L-O-V-E.
What is your opinion on love?
I try to think back about how many times I've actually been "in love". If I were to hazard a guess, I'd say maybe three times. More like two. Maybe even just once...and none were my ex husband. The first and the one I'm in the most doubt about was the boyfriend I had my senior year in high school. His name is J. I was nominated for homecoming queen and wanted to shake things up, so I chose J to be my escort. Very alternative to my vanilla. Eyeliner, black wardrobe, drugs and alcohol...everything I wasn't...except for the eyeliner, lol. We were together for nearly a year. He was beautiful and brilliant but he just had so many problems. I tried to "fix" him, but there was nothing I could do. I saw him through so many terrible ordeals, and what did I get out of it? Stress and a drinking issue of my own.
The second "maybe" was my boyfriend B. He was black and a basketball player. I was enthralled with him. We fell in love (if, indeed, that's what it was) very quickly. We talked about him taking me home to North Carolina, we talked about getting married...I thought he was it. He was the only man to ever really and truly break my heart.
The love I'm sure about was with R (metal band R, mentioned several times in previous posts). After 5 years of being apart (and me being married for 4 of those) I never, ever stopped loving him. A month ago, if he walked through the door and asked me to move to California to be with him, I'd have packed up the kids and left - no questions asked.
L has now entered the picture. The feelings for R are being erased around the edges a little. It's exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time. Exhilarating in that I might possibly have real love again...a love that goes both ways. In my marriage it was him loving me, me not loving enough back, but being afraid to leave or lose him. I felt like I was nothing if he wasn't with me. How would I do this by myself? (obviously, I've answered that question. I do this just fine, better even.) And terrifying b/c I'm desperately afraid of losing the love for R. It has defined me for so long, how will I be if I let go of the one true love I'm positive of?
I know the answer isn't difficult. It would be the healthy thing to do to let R go. To stop trying to find a way to convince myself he's the one I'm supposed to be with...because for the first time, I'm not so sure he is the one I'm supposed to be with. But there's always that little "what if..." knocking around in the back of my head. So what do I do with that voice? Is there something to it or is it just a habit I'm having trouble giving up?

Thursday, September 20, 2007

What would Chuck Norris do? I'll tell you.

I have discovered a deep well of hilarity embedded within the wonderful world that is the internet. Apparently, there is an underground group of Chuck Norris...well, groupies. They have assembled a list of Chuck Norris facts.
Here are a few tasty tidbits....

--Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

--Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

--Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

--Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

--How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

Thursday Thirteen

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Mkay, so I haven't done this in a year...felt like today was THE day to get it going again.
Today's topic? Thirteen random songs on my iPod, and why I love them. Here goes:

1)Love Hurts by Nazareth -- Why do I love this song? Well, because frankly, love is a bitch and it really does hurt. But I also have a new appreciation for it. In the Halloween remake, Michael Myers' mother is stripping to it while he's killing his sister and her boyfriend. Makes the "Hurts" part a little more meaningful, LOL.

2)What's your Fantasy by Ludacris -- This was "our song" for my ex boyfriend B, and I. Yeah, sounds a little dirty. And it was. Oh yes it was.

3)Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters by Elton John -- Because Almost Famous is my favorite movie and Tiny Dancer was too obvious a choice. And because I love Elton John. I wrote him a letter when I was in the 5th grade, but I never sent it. Too chicken.

4)Dig by Mudvayne -- My friend R got me into this song about 5 years ago. I really have no idea what the lyrics say, but it sure gets your heart beating.

5)Not an Addict by K's Choice -- the first time I heard this song was when Zayra sang it on an episode of Rockstar: Supernova. Have been in love with it ever since. I sing it at the top of my everlovin' lungs.

6)50 Ways to Leave your Lover by Simon and Garfunkel -- Have always loved this song, but now it makes me think of my UPS man, since his name is Lee and all.

7)Feelin' Love by Paula Cole -- OMG, how can you not feel sexy when you hear this???

8)Girl all the Bad Guys Want by Bowling For Soup -- "Her cd changer's full of singers that are mad at their dad" Says it all right there. The lyrics to this song are priceless.

9)Shaun of the Dead opening theme -- "Can I get....any of you cunts...a drink?"
One of my favorite movies ever.

10)Smack That by Akon and Eminem -- Reminds me of the 2nd one night stand I've ever had (well, the last i guess, there's only been two that didn't turn into either a friendship or something more). We danced to this song and started making out on the dance floor. Drunk on midori sours and Miller Lite. Oh yeah.

11)Teenage Dirt Bag by Wheatus -- Reminds me of high school, and I really loved the video.

12) Afternoon Delight by the Channel 4 News Team -- Is there even a question as to why this is on my iPod? If you don't think that this is the best song ever, I will fight you.

13) The Sweater Song by Weezer -- 7th grade. No need to elaborate.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Wow, it's been a year already

How time does fly. I remember exactly what I was doing at this exact moment one year ago....
Talking like a pirate. Yes, that's right. Talk like a pirate day is once again upon us. Who needs freaking Christmas??

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Hey, hey...the Yankees won AGAIN...but anyway...

This just might be the best thing I've ever read. Why hasn't anyone thought of it before???

I'm in a sharing sort of mood today...a revealing mood, if you will. Also, I haven't embarrassed myself enough this week, so let's have a little fun at Samantha's expense, shall we??

--This morning I got up before the boys and was taking a shower. There I am, washing my hair, eyes closed under the water...when suddenly the shower curtain is whipped open and I hear, "BOO!!!" Of course I screamed, became tangled up in my own hair, slipped in some shampoo...On the way down I even had the time to think, "Shit. This is going to hurt." The boys were laughing so hard they were crying and having trouble breathing. Come to think of it, I was crying and having trouble breathing too...but maybe it was for a different reason.

--I am secretly Samuel L. Jackson. No, really. This skinny little white girl business is just really good special effect makeup. I realized this yesterday when I was calling the computer a cock-sucking motherfucker...only in my head though, of course. The bad language is rampant in my head...out loud I whisper the word 'piss' just in case there's a kid around. But seriously, I started thinking about it and the only place I'd be decent is in a sailor's bathroom...and even then it might be questionable.

--I have underwear issues. Not weird creepy ones, it's just I only wear black undergarments. Well, I do have two pairs of white panties, just in case a white skirt or similar wardrobe situation crops up. Likewise I have only two white bras...But those suckers do amazing things for my boobs. Every girl needs a good boob bra. Lord knows I need it after two children. So, now you all know. I have 15 black lace camisoles, about a zillion pairs of black panties and black bra-a-palooza going on in my underwear drawer. Sure, it sounds boring, but men seem to find it hot...which just goes to show where my priorities lie, lol. I'm fairly positive I'd have made a really great Catholic school girl.

--"I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class...Especially since I rule."

I'll leave you with that today, ladies and gentlemen. Hope all is well!!!

Monday, September 17, 2007

And we thought it couldn't get any worse

MSN is reporting that the FBI is investigating a new case....apparently a hit has been taken out on Kevin Federline. long are we giving this before Britney Spears and her bodyguards are hauled in for questioning??
Just my useless piece of info for the day. Enjoy!

Ok, it's the next day...I'll update for all of you who were crying and worrying that the world's most famous babydaddy might get shot in the face or something. Turns out he's just fine. The investigation started over the summer and has since ended. More Federspawn will be crawling the earth soon. So you can all breathe easy again.

Annnd the Yankees win!

You know, the title of this thing does have the word sports in it, and I seem to have abandoned that. So today I'll take a couple minutes and congratulate my boys in pinstripes for a great game against the Red Sox. Derek Jeter for President.
And while I'm at it, congratulations to Clint Bowyer for winning his first Nascar race, and doing it in high style.

Ok, enough of that....
So the date? That's what you're all anxious for isn't it? Screw the sports stats, Samantha, just get down to business.
The date was fine.

Actually, it was pretty much fabulous. I'm about 10 seconds away from falling completely in love with this man. If I get up and sing karaoke to God Blessed the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts, then you'll know I'm just gone, finished, in over my head, etc...If I get schmaltzy, look out. Normally I'll just smack your ass and tell you you're hot (lol, partially kidding)...none of that icky emotional crap from me. That may be changing.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Flashback to the 80's

I'm super excited. My friend is having a "girls only" birthday party in two weeks. The theme? The 80's. Yes. We have to come dressed up. I'm thinking I'll do the Madonna thing...or maybe the Flashdance off the shoulder sweatshirt and leg warmers thing. L says I can drive the Trans Am, lol. It's too new to be authentic, but what's an 80's party without a TA? I'll just aqua net the hair to insane heights (gotta trade in the flat iron for a curling iron for the night) and take the tops out of the car and be, like, totally awesome. Mega-watt eyeshadow, lots of neon, and plastic accessories. How could this not be a great time?

Life is just so good right now. I hope I can get out and share a little of my joy. I feel the need to pay it forward. You shouldn't keep a blessing, you should share it with everyone. Hopefully my sunny disposition will rub off on others.
Have a great day everyone!!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

See Samantha date. See Samantha post 50 times a day.

My whole mood is just kicked up a notch lately. I didn't realize it, but apparently I had a little air of gloom about me. Everyone is noticing that I seem more light-hearted and that I'm always smiling a tiny little smile. They say my eyes have a spark back in them. Blame it on L. I got a wake up call this morning and more flowers at lunch time. This man is spoiling me. I told him he should probably stop or I'd get used to it.
Even dumbass rednecks from the pawn shop can't kill my mood. We were outside the back door kissing goodbye and this scary old man walks by and says something really clever like, "Hey babe, you kissin' the UPS dude? Did he catch you checking out his package?" Raucous laughter followed. Package. UPS. Get it? Yeah.
It's a bit sad but I had really forgotten what it was like to feel this way about someone. Sure I was excited over the thing I had with C, but it was very superficial. I knew it wasn't going to end up being a serious relationship. Plus, he got to be very annoying. He was always trying to impress me by name dropping (hello, loser. I know the "important" people in town too, ok? I go to most of their Christmas parties.) or by telling me how much money he spent on this thing, or that thing. Like I really fucking care.
L makes me feel amazing. My self-confidence is no longer fake and over-exaggerated, it is real again. I feel like a human being again. I feel like a woman again.
And you know what? I love it.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

This is pretty right on

You Are Rum

You're the life of the party, and a total flirt
You are also pretty picky about what you drink
Only the finest labels and best mixed cocktails will do
Except if you're dieting - then it's Diet Coke and Bicardi all the way
What Alcoholic Drink Are You?

I do prefer a nice crown and diet coke, or for a walk on the wild side, a double Wild Turkey 101 and diet....If I'm really down for the party bring on gin and tonics and long island iced tea.

Points to ponder

--If it's been deemed unconstitutional to post the 10 Commandments outside of a courthouse (even though that is what our whole law system is based on) b/c of separation of church and do we deny homosexual couples the right to marry? We all know the reason people are all icky-weird about it is b/c of the biblical implications, am I right?

--While I'm speaking about biblical things. Did you know that no where in the Bible does it say that suicide is a one way ticket to hell? In fact, some of the men most used by God on earth did themselves in. It's simply a sin you have to explain on the other side.
On that note, did you know that in some states, if you attempt suicide and fail, you can be charged with attempted murder? Not joking.

--A Mennonite (similar to Amish, for those unfamiliar) family came into the store today to buy some homeschool curriculum....the girl came up to me and whispered, "I really love your shoes." I am wearing black ballet flats w/skulls and crossbones on them. Go figure.

--My little brother's friend asked me to go to the Homecoming Dance with him. He's 14. Kid's got balls. I nearly accepted, lol. Too bad the age cutoff for dates is 20.

I don't want this bubble to burst.

Really, I'm thinking it's about damn time something good happened to me.
Things just keep getting better and better. He stopped in late yesterday on his way back through town and we talked on the phone for an hour last night. This morning when he came in to see me he was so cute... He pulled something out of his pocket and said, "I brought you a kiss." It was a hershey's kiss (with almonds, he's a good man). I know it is silly and corny but who cares? When you've got a good love-buzz going on, corny seems like pure gold. The perma-smile has been plastered on my face for a full week now.
Don't worry...I'll stop gushing eventually ;)

Monday, September 10, 2007

Do things this amazing happen in real life? Do they?

Because I've only ever seen anything so wonderful occur in a chick flick.
L and I had the best time ever. Since he is the UPS man, and I've never seen him drive anything other than the big brown truck, or wear anything other than the uniform, I was very curious to see what would pull up in front of my house. I'm thinking, ok, he's 38, he's got kids, so maybe an extended cab truck or an SUV or something. So needless to say, the shiny red Trans Am was a little shocking. I don't generally go for cars like that, but this one was actually very pretty, and pulling up in front of a bar in a car like that gets a lot of stares, and it's a lot of fun. As for what he looked like, when he's working he's all tan and golden and he always wears his sunglasses (his nickname is Hollywood) and just has this "I'm amazingly hot" aura about him. Saturday he was slightly less intimidating. He was very casual, jeans, polo shirt, ball cap. Less of an "I'm amazingly hot" thing going on, more like, "All the girls go 'awww!' when they see me, b/c I'm so cute". He said he was really nervous b/c he'd been wanting to ask me out for months, but didn't know my situation or anything...He kept staring at me and saying he couldn't believe I'd actually agreed to go out with him (I'm beginning to think he'd been smoking crack at this point. Couldn't he see I was CLEARLY the one winning??). He was so polite and attentive and just every other positive adjective I can think of. We left the last bar around 2am and went to the all night diner for breakfast. At 3:30 we get back to my house. He doesn't want to leave, and I don't want him to, so we decide to watch Shaun of the Dead (he'd never seen it..."Oh my God. She is so drunk" cracks me up so much, I had to share that with him. We make it through that scene and I'm so tired I can barely move, so he carries me to bed and says he'll stay until I fall asleep. Well, I didn't sleep. He was very distracting. I was very proud of us. We had the best of intentions to keep the first date pure and innocent. But the road to hell (or heaven I suppose, however you look at it, lol) is paved with good intentions. Around 4:45am I was saying, "You can stop being a gentleman now". He listened. He. Is. Incredible. He made C seem like a clumsy high schooler. **Ladies, I am, completely and totally, all for dating older men. There's no going back for me now.** I had to be up at 7, so he just stayed and we got an hour or so of sleep before I had to kick him out.
It was just so fabulous. We just talked and laughed all night, and he made me feel like a princess.
He called last night and he told me he'd be in to see me today, regardless of whether or not he had boxes. He did bring me boxes today...and flowers. Pretty red roses. He put his arms around me and kissed me and we hear, "Oh my God, she's making out with the hot UPS guy!" We turn around and the girls from the beauty school were watching through the back door, lol. So now I'm getting about 50% "good for you!" cheers yelled in my direction and 50% dirty looks, LOL.
I'm happy, floating on cloud 9, can't stop smiling....See? This is how it's supposed to be. We're going out again this Saturday, so let's just hope next week's update is good too.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Where are the video cameras and who is in charge of this joke???

C showed up at my house last night at 10:30. I haven't heard from him in days and days, after he had his little freak out about our relationship not being low-key enough. He had been at a Chamber of Commerce thing and had been drinking. Apparently he's ready to hit the town and show the world I'm his woman. Umm...sorry baby, I have plans this weekend. I fully intend to see what brown can do for me (sorry, shameless UPS reference, lol).
These weird things have been happening a lot lately. I become involved with C, and R pops up after 5 years (at least he's safely in CA for now.) Now I'm all excited about UPS and C rears his (non)ugly head.
This is just some sort of cosmic test...either that or it's a real life Truman Show and people are watching in slack jawed amazement at the ridiculousness of the whole situation.
Even worse...the EX has decided that after a year of being a total asshole, he wants to be friends. He wanted me to go with him while he gets a new tattoo tonight. WTF? NO! I will not watch you make yourself a human coloring book. I'll be civil for the sake of the boys but we're not going to start hanging out. Bruce and Demi we are not.

As I was typing this, C walked into the store. Around lunch time my ex husband shows up, "just to talk". OMG, I am losing my mind. Why won't people just leave me alone to revel in my UPS man happiness??
I'm going out with L tomorrow, we're going to have a great time. And to all the other men darkening my aura,in the immortal words of Betty White (in the movie "Lake Placid"), "If I had a dick, this is when I'd tell you to suck it!"

Have a great weekend everyone. Date details Monday. WISH ME LUCK!!

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Who has a date? That'd be me.

Yes, yes, yes. Officially have a date with UPS man on Saturday night. Too giddy to type, smiling like an idiot, etc....


Teehee...he just finished his route for the day and drove by, honked, smiled and waved.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

M! You have me addicted to these freaking quizzes!

This one was really right on the money.

Your Score: Buff bad boy

You scored 50% masculine, 52% athletic, 36% exotic, and 43% refined!

You like your men with a boyish or feminine face but a manly body. You like him to posess bad boy looks while still maintaining some innocence. He looks like the all-American kind of hunk and I bet you love someone like.......Travis Fimmel. But let's face it, the whole point of this was to look at a bunch of hot guys. If you liked what you saw, please rate my test!

Link: The What type of MAN turns you on Test written by thinkandcome on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Things I have learned today...

--The mailman who delivers our mail here at work is gay. Like, super gay. He invited me to a party next weekend. I told him about Mr. UPS. He said,"OOh, I know which one he is, go for it honey". LOL. Gaymail and I have plans for lunch next week.

--My boss had a healthy baby boy!!! They called me 20 minutes after he was born. He's their 3rd boy.

--Really hot guys come and go from the pawn shop two doors down, not just scary redneck freaks. Too bad I still think they are all drug addicts.

--Really hot college guys come and go from the bookstore across the street. Hey baby, pop in over here sometime!

--The photographer across the street takes mood stabilizers. (Apparently all of little business people here on the square are very open and honest about our issues.)

--Pink Shoes, the gay guy next door at the beauty school, has the hots for Gaymail. Hm...should I do something about this?

--Single men from NYC and the surrounding areas are much hotter than the ones here, overall.

And finally....
I have learned that my life is way more fabulous and exciting post-divorce. I have come back out of my shell and have re-learned to interact with others. Go me!

This was not what I was expecting...

Saw this over at M's blog....took I'm an evil bitch? I was just being honest. Apparently too honest. I've never been called controlling before. Usually "doormat" is applied most often. Perhaps divorce will change a person, LOL.

Sharp. Hardened. Dominating. The Battleaxe sweeps all before her, smiting and what not.

You've had a number of serious relationships, so you obviously have many attractive qualities. You're well experienced in dealing with other people's weirdnesses, and it's likely you're good in bed by now, too. Also, like the drunken housewife chucking Heinekens at her no-good husband, you've got a lot of energy.

People can tell you're sophisticated, and so you find yourself the object of infatuations quite often. But it's how you handle yourself in your relationships that gets you the 'brutal' tag. Controlling? Imperious? Overbearing? Yes, please.

Remarkably, you don't mind the same from your men. You've experience enough to take whatever you dish out. Overall, you're a very good person and a capable lover, and when the time comes you'll make a fine divorcee.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Well, I did it.

I hit on the UPS man. He asked how my weekend went, so I told him about the party. He said I should have invited him (Craze! you were right!), so I said I would see if I could get a sitter for the kids and maybe we could go out Friday. He said ok!
I'm not really getting my hopes up, but it did boost my confidence for the day.
I called my boss giggling like a school girl and she literally screamed, "Yes!! You have to tell me EVERYTHING!" Which might not seem like that big of a deal, but she was checking into the hospital at the time. She's having the baby tomorrow, lol.
So, score one for me today.

It's my party and I'll make a fool of myself if I want to...

My big night out was Saturday.
We started out by going to see Halloween (which I'll review below). Afterward, we went to one of the many Mexican places in town. We were planning on just hanging around the bar and watching people do karaoke, but we were hungry so we went to the restaurant part instead...and hung around that bar. We walked in and my friend J was there with one of our old high school friends who was visiting for the first time in forever. This automatically puts me in a good mood. Ok people, bring on the margaritas. Three "perfect margaritas" later, they are telling us it's time to close. At 10pm? You must be kidding me. I get this fabulous idea to go to a little hole-in-the-wall bar in town. I've never been. In fact, to be honest, it looks a little shady...a little dodgy if you will. But hey, I'm drunk so who the hell cares? Let's live it up a little. We walk into the place and it is empty. But it has the air of a place where you go to NOT be seen, which made it kind of exciting. The bartender lady was missing a tooth. I really wish I was embellishing for effect here, but I'm so telling the truth. After about 20 minutes some old, very scary people walk in and order about 5 pitchers of beer. Well, Samantha is even more intoxicated by this point, and felt the need to mingle, to be out among the people. So I go and sit down and bond with them. They get my whole life story in about 5 minutes, and the next thing I know me and one of the ladies are playing Bob Seger and Patsy Cline on the jukebox. At some point Nickelback's Rock Star comes on and then entire bar is singing along at the top of our lungs.
Bad move of the night: While talking and gesturing wildly with my hands I knocked over a beer and broke the glass. But it spilled on my friend who was a very good sport about it.
So all in all it was a fun time.

The Halloween review, for those who care.
Personally, I LOVED it. You have to know that the original Halloween is my favorite horror movie of all time. Michael Myers scares the holy hell out of me. Rob Zombie (who directed this new one) is also a huge fan of the original. I knew that this movie would not be your typical remake. I knew it would be a stand alone version, not a copycat. I have to say, the first half is terribly acted and they say "fuck" way too much, but, it is soooooooo funny. The badness is hilarious. The kid who plays M.M. at the beginning is truly terrifying. I mean, if you thought the kid who played Damien in the original Omen was scary, he has nothing on this kid. (Plus, we all know Mary Poppins could have toned down Damien with two quick spoonfuls of sugar, ok? She wouldn't have been jumping off a roof to her death, she had her trusty and ever present umbrella). When Laurie enters the picture, the acting becomes much better, the chases and killing are intense b/c they happen so quickly. Very shocking visuals. There is a lot of back story, so you see the kid killing people and it was just very....very...visceral, I guess. You have that jolting gut reaction, you know? If you're looking for a formulaic remake, you'll hate it and say Zombie ruined the original...if you're looking for a stand alone, you'll appreciate it a little more.

So there's that. Hope you all are well and had a great holiday. Back to work we go...