Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Quick update...

Job interview was this morning. I think it went fairly well. I have the best references on earth, and they liked that a lot.

Otherwise, nothing happening.
Nothing, zip, nil, nada, etc...

I'll be back on Thursday with
Thursday Thirteen: Ring Around the Rosies, Pocket Full of Neuroses. Thirteen things I'm a little psychotic about.

See you then!

Friday, February 01, 2008

A weekend extra...Yeah, two posts in one day.

I was checking out my blog patrol stats today, and looked at the search words people used to get here. Normally they're dumb or boring. Today, I struck gold.
So here they are, copied and pasted from Blog Patrol.

-- what up bitches (Google)
--"sea of love" phil phillips (Google)
-- blow my nose like a foghorn (Yahoo)
--What kind of make-up does Martha Madison wear (Yahoo)
-- gay mailman pics (Google)
--what's up my bitches cartoon picture (Google)
--wicked messenger bag coach Elphaba (Google)
-- sports romance novels (Google)
--john f. kennedy took take showered showers (Google)
-- wandering mind quotes (Google)
-- blinkies - soaps (Google)
-- green bam universal degreaser discontinued (Google)
--If I made this world a little brighter, then
I did not live in vain (Yahoo)

-- My ex-husband is obsessed with me (Google)
--freaked out by breast feeding (Google)
-- samantha k (Google)
--"The Girl Can't Help It" sample (Google)
-- "it's strange" "see my reflection in the window" song l
yrics (Google)

-- he has a good taste (Google)
-- truckload bedding (Google)
-- prunella jones (Google)
-- barrett-jackson (Google)
-- sports blinkies (Google)
-- Has someone drugged me (Google)
--sport won in the mind (Google)
-- "billie was arrested for" (Google)
-- bobbettes (Google)
--I hate those days (Google)
-- chuck norris blinkie (Google)
-- baby its the freakin weekend i am about to have me some fun (Goog

-- sports blinkie (Google)
-- listen to soaps (Google)
--equivalates (Google)
-- linsey davenport nude (Google)
-- terilyn esse wedding (Google)
-- teenage babysitter, alcoholic mother, mom died as a baby, lives w
ith dad and grandma, football player friend, father works at fact
ory (Google)

-- "how well do you know the birthday" (Google)
-- But it's just another one of those days I can't help but feel
a little upset (Google)

-- mood enhancement at walgreens (Yahoo)
--it's the freekin weekend baby im about to have me some fun (Goo

-- cough hack video (Google)
-- phil phillips "sea of love" (Google)
--chris hansen cock block shirt (Google)
-- "freakishly long lashes" (Google)
-- marilyn cloitre nyc (Google)


What the hell?

I fucking hate snow

Snow is evil.

It creeps up by stealth (or by big globby colors on a radar map, whatever) and buries you with its cold, icy, horribleness.

Snow made my interview get cancelled b/c our town basically shut down yesterday after 9:00 am.
Schools were cancelled (hence, the interview), daycares were closed, stores were closed, streets were nightmarish.
I think we got six inches total.

I stayed home with the boys yesterday. How did I ever do that for four years? (I had my two year old home with me on Wednesday, b/c he was sick. So two days stuck in the house.) UPS came to check on us, driving down the snow covered street in his big brown truck. Who needs a knight in shining armor when you've got that?

Today the sun is out and melting it into muddy slush. We're supposed to get rain all weekend and then Monday...it's supposed to be 64 degrees. Yep. Snow today, 64 on Monday. I love living in the Ozarks.

So today I'll sit and stare out the window at the sloppy street and eat my Necco conversation hearts...but only the white ones. The white ones have this weird wintergreenish-pepto bismolish taste that intrigues me. I like my conversation hearts white, and my jelly beans black.
I keep finding hearts that say "marry me". Just a warning to all the men out there, who think it might be cute to give your girl a handful of conversation hearts - Check them over carefully. She might take them seriously, so watch out for that one. It's sneaky.
One minute you're sharing your candy, the next minute you're engaged, and you have no idea how it happened. So be careful.

I probably won't be posting again until Tuesday, so I'm sorry there isn't anything earth shatteringly fascinating to report.
Have a good weekend, everyone!

Editing to add...This birth months description from a meme REH did over in his neck of the woods. Since my birthday is this month, and February's description sounds good, I'm posting it.
FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

This just might be my week!

I have an interview for the job at the school Thursday at 1:00.
Remember, this is the fancy job with things like insurance, dental coverage, and retirement.

I will also be in the same building as my little brother. How fun, being around to watch out for him during his high school years...

UPS and I are attending a wedding together in two weeks. I have never been anyone's date to a wedding. I've either been in the thing, or I"ve gone with friends...or my mom.
I could be normal and say, "hey, I'm going to a wedding for a person I have never before laid eyes on!"

Or I could be a psychotic overthinking girl and say "Hey, I'm going to read way too much into this and imagine that he's testing me to see how I respond to all the lovey-dovey, frosting covered schmaltz...and party mints. If I respond in a positive manner, perhaps I'll be getting some frosting covered schmaltz of my own soon!"

Except I don't want frosting covered schmaltz. Or party mints (even though they are quite delicious.)
I have had a wedding.
When we get married, I think it will be the day I wake up and say, "Ok, let's do this thing!" And we will march to the courthouse.
Or, really, if I had my way, we'd just go file for the marriage license so that it'd show up in the paper, and then tell people we eloped.

Yes, lie.

So that's my immoral admission today. I would lie about being married.

There are worse things I could do...

Monday, January 28, 2008

Claudia's Questions - Answered! But first, Weekend Update...

UPS had a nice birthday. We didn't get to do anything special, really, but we just kind of hung out together. Very nice.
Saturday night he went gigging (basically this involves impaling fish.) with his friends and I hung out on his couch in front of his tv, lol. I baked and decorated a cake for him, complete with 39 candles (yes, we lit them all, and I made him blow them out...he did it in one try and nothing caught on fire, lol).
Because I am in 'job loss' mode, he got a card. But it was a sweet card with a lovely handwritten note inside.

And now for the headline story....


So a week or so ago, I told you to ask me anything. Anything at all, and I would answer. You guys took me seriously, and I think I delivered in fine form. Claudia had some great questions for me, and I decided to put them all together into a post of their own.

I didn't see the question thing. Shit! I have lots and lots of nosey questions. Here I go:

1. Why are you underemployed?
2. What will it take for you to say "I quit"? (Your car was broken into, you have a stalker, I mean really....)
3. What's your dream job? If the clothing thing is it, why has it taken so long?
4. What are you passionate about in your life?
5. What do you want to create in your life? (A spin on "what are you doing with your life?")
6. How old are your boys?

Ok, so those are what I'm up against. Here I go...
Why am I underemployed? I assume the real question here is, "Why are you working retail management with no benefits and crappy pay?"
Because my husband left me with nothing, this job became available, and I fell in love with it. Not the job, necessarily, but the business. I LOVE IT. We sell award winning, heirloom quality toys, books, and games; educational decoratives and resource material for classrooms (preschool through grade 12); we host/plan birthday parties; hold playgroups; teach early childhood enrichment classes; provide homeschoolers with curriculum and general info, etc...
We are a wonderful business, but a slow business. The owner is a great friend of mine, but she doesn't advertise. Money is an issue.
I love this job because it allows me to be creative. I love marketing, I love promoting, I love dealing with people. Making sales calls is my favorite thing. I like selling. I'm good at it. I'm very persuasive, lol.

What will it take for me to say I quit? Well, hmmm...Getting the job at the high school, or winning the lottery. (This was asked before I knew this job was being eliminated...eventually. I'll be at work all week.)

Dream job? My dream job is to be the owner of the New York Yankees. When I was 14 I became convinced that I would win them from George Steinbrenner in a game of high-stakes poker.

I'm still waiting.

You probably want me to be serious, sorry.
I could channel Renee Zellweger from the movie Empire Records and say, "I wanna sing in a band, but I don't have the guts to even audition."
But that wouldn't be serious either.
There isn't one "dream job" out there for me. I can love anything, really. I'd like to work in the theatre business, I'd like to own a restaurant, I'd like to own a book/record store, I'd like to work on a political campaign, lead trail rides, be Snow White at Disney World....you get the idea.

What am I passionate about?
My big thing right now is making sure others are really living, you know? Not holding themselves back from going for the goal...I guess I am passionate about others embracing their own passion? LOL, well, I know what I mean even if you guys don't think it makes sense. I tend to be everyone's personal cheerleader.

What do I want to create in my life?
Peace. Happiness. Love. Joy.

How old are my boys?
X is 4(8/8/03) and L is 2(7/17/05).

I'm not sure than I answered any of these in the manner she wanted, but I'm in one of those happy, flighty moods that take me over every 72 years or so...kind of like a comet.

Maybe these questions were really just one question spread out a little. Maybe she was asking, "Who are you?"

I'm a daughter, a mother, a girlfriend, an ex-wife, a sister, a friend, a woman. I'm a small-town girl with a big city mindset who no longer thinks the concrete is grayer on the other side. I like my small town sidewalk cracks just fine.
I am up, down, in, out, black, white, and red all over.
I'm irrational but sometimes way too practical. I like to hurry up go, and then take it slow. I love art, film, theatre, and classic country music. I don't like sell outs, but I love cable television.
I have developed a new way of thinking. One day at a time. One of my favorite Bible verses (yes, I'm going there) is in Matthew chapter six. Translated into SamanthaSpeak it says: Don't worry about tomorrow, today has enough going on. This little verse makes all the difference to me. If I spend all day worrying that tomorrow might bring hardship, I've totally lost today. Lost it. 24 hours, gone, caput, bye bye, seeyalater.

So who am I? I dunno. Can you define a life?
Claudia, thanks for the post inspiration, even if my answers sounded like a Britney Spears soundbite from TMZ.com or something.

Oh the places I have been, oh the places I will go...Won't you join me?

Friday, January 25, 2008

Take that, Federer!

I interrupt the incoherent ramblings on this blog to say that Roger Federer was beaten in the semi-finals at the Australian Open.

Novak Djokovic, I was always a casual fan, but you tended to choke at very inopportune moments, making it difficult to root for you. Now I think I believe you can win anytime, anyplace. Good luck in the final!

Ok...back to normal.

Had a nice long post all ready, then deleted it.

I suck.

Oh, and I'll be around on Monday. We've been so busy at work this week (and two of the boss's three children have pneumonia), that she's decided there's no way she can only be open in the afternoons.

I am still job hunting, and praying the job at the high school comes through. They missed two days of school this week (MLK day Monday, then Tuesday for ice), and today is a half day for teacher's meetings, so I won't know until next week.

UPS has a birthday Saturday. He's going fishing. Tonight we're taking his oldest son to basketball practice, tomorrow we take him to his mom's, and then Saturday I hang around his house and wait for him to get back from the lake.
Sounds like he wins and I lose in this situation, but really, I get to watch whatever I want on television while he's gone.

Have a good weekend!
**Monday will probably be the day I post my Answers to Claudia's Questions post. I can work on it Saturday night from UPS's desk.**

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Thursday Thirteen: And you can quote me on that


It's a quickie this week. Thirteen random quotes from the rich, the famous, the normal.

1)"It's ok, you can sleep when you're dead". From my horoscope yesterday.

2)"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt.

3)"Mom, all I want is a goldfish that won't up and die." - X, my four year old.

4)"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you" - Oscar Wilde.

5)"It's never just a game when you're winning." - George Carlin

6)"Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try." - Fran Lebowitz

7)"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." - John F. Kennedy

8)"If they ask you to take your clothes off, get the money first." - Amber's mom, from the movie "Drop Dead Gorgeous".

9)"Let's have a bachelor party! With chicks, and guns, and fire trucks, and hookers, and drugs, and booze!" - Bachelor Party.

10)"Love is when you look into someone's eyes, and suddenly, you go all the way inside, to their soul... and you both know, instantly. I always imagined I would fall in love, nursing a blind soldier. Who was wounded in battle. Or maybe while rescuing someone in the middle of a blizzard, seconds before the avalanche hits. I thought, at least, by the age of fifteen, I would have a love life. But, I don't even have a "like" life." - Angela, aka Claire Danes, from the television show "My So-Called Life".

11)"My name is Matt Foley, I'm 35, divorced, and I LIVE IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!" - Chris Farley

12)"Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver" - Bumper Sticker

13)"It is a good thing to follow the First Law of Holes: if you are in one, stop digging." - Denis Healy

The girl can't help it...

There's this new Fergie song that is constantly stuck in my head...it sounds familiar, like it's a cover or a sample...Malcolm, help me out. Is it Little Richard?

I used to write a lot of poetry. I was even published in a college textbook and two poetry compilations. I don't have a copy of any of them, lol. They were about relationships and involved nature metaphors.

Do all bloggers long to be serious writers?

How did you envision your life when you were an angsty (or idealistic) teen? I had all kinds of plans, all kinds of ideas.

I was going to be a film maker and challenge the minds of the world.

I was going to be a sportswriter or announcer. A witty female with the scoop on all the ins and outs of baseball, tennis, football, golf...

I was going to be a journalist with an edge, but sympathetic to the everyman(woman).

If you'd asked my friends how they saw me in 10 years, they'd have said I'd be dressed in a wardrobe of black, flying high on caffeine with a cigarette burning away between my fingers.

In reality, I'm a feisty single mother recovering from a series of bad relationships and a marriage to a soul-sucking taker. Like that cigarette seen burning between my fingers, I was crushed out into an ash stained tray.

Something has re-lit the flame. I don't know if it is my latent survival skills kicking in in the face of adversity, or the love of a good man, but the ember is glowing again.

I may never be on the New York Times bestseller list, I may never call a championship game, but by God, I have a blog and a head full of nonsense. This is either fuel for the fire, or a recipe for disaster. Only time will tell.

The blogosphere is a unique experience. We are screen names, we are avatars, we are one. There will always be someone willing to share too much information, and then allow us to comment on it. It's like a soap opera, only without a writer's strike threatening to destroy our drama.


Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Bring it on. Bring it the fuck on.

Water is running in a mid-sized river as I drive up the street toward my house. It is ten minutes after five o'clock and my boys, who I have not seen in 50 hours are singing a praise and worship song behind me in their car seats.

"Did it rain today?" I casually wonder. "No, I would have noticed that. The city must have been working on water lines." That must be it, I decide.

I draw closer to my house and notice that the river is rushing at a higher intensity. Curious. A feeling of dread and panic begins to creep up slowly from my stomach, where it becomes lodged in my throat like an aspirin taken without a drink.

My driveway is the real river. The street merely its tributary.

I leave the kids in the van as I rush inside, water furiously pouring from beneath my home. I envision floating furniture and my cat clinging to the dining room table in a DiCaprio-esque manner (edited to say, sorry for the idiocy...this should have been "Winslet-esque" shouldn't it?). What I find is a flooded laundry room, wet lint sticking to everything, boxes of mementos with enemy water soaking in at a rapid clip.

I start throwing things out into the kitchen and begin my frantic phone calls.

I feel crazy - unbalanced. Like I'm standing on a ladder in high heels and someone below is threatening to give it a good hard shake.

Thankfully things were resolved much more easily than I had anticipated.

The plumber shows up this morning to replace the frozen washing machine lines beneath the house. He was very attractive.
After Friday I think I must have developed a feeling of entitlement where good looking men in uniforms are concerned.

I almost made a pass at him.

Kidding! I'm kidding. I don't want to become known as the girl who solicits sex from UPS men, plumbers, and the dude who brings me my pizza.

Or do I?

To add insult to injury, we had freezing rain last night. My van was covered by a sheet of ice. I reach up on top of the entertainment center to grab my can of de-icer. I feel the coldness of metal beneath my fingers and thinking I've struck gold, I pull it down.

In my hand was a can of instant snow. You know, the stuff you spray on your windows to get a delightfully tacky wintry glow to add to your holiday decor.

All I could do was laugh.

Happy Tuesday, ya'll!!

OMG, just heard on the radio that Heath Ledger died. WTF?

I feel very sad. In the grand scheme of things, why is this depressing me?