Saturday, June 30, 2007

los portrillos

Someone told me that los portrillos means "the goats". I'm not sure if that's true or not, but it's the name of the Mexican restaurant my friends and I went to last night. Funnily enough, there were horses on the cover of the menu.
If I go into an ethnic restaurant and the menu is in the language of origin, I usually just show the waiter what I want, and tell them I am not all about butchering their language. Some people say this makes me look stupid, some say it shows respect. Really, I just don't want to embarrass myself in public. I have to feel for the poor staff at Mexican places though. No matter what town or city you are in, if you eat at an authentic Mexican eatery, you will hear "The only Spanish I know is uno, dos, tres..." followed by raucous laughter. You see, I openly admit that the Spanish I know comes from Sesame Street and Dora the Explorer. However,I do not feel this qualifies me to spout off my minimal understanding in a place filled with people who know how to speak it properly. Often it is the same people who feel the need to uno, dos, tres their way through dinner who complain when the English language is not spoken to their liking. This is truly irritating, as English is the most difficult language to learn outside of the Asian languages.
We have a large Russian population in our area, and a lot of the adults do not speak English, they rely on their children to be translators. I recently heard a group of older men complaining about them and their heavily accented words, as well as how the schools have hired Russian translators to help the kids out. "If they can't speak it right, they should go back where they came from. It just ain't Christian." I was annoyed and walked over and said, "Jesus didn't speak English either, give them a break." They kind of stared at me and then one guy said, "That's just cause he didn't have no one to teach him". Ignorance at its finest.

BTW, court was fine. The judge actually called the ex "ridiculous". Exact words.

Monday, June 25, 2007

I've said it before, and I'll say it again....

When you call somewhere and they answer the phone, "hello, this is the teacher store" means you've called THE TEACHER STORE. Not the payday loan place, not the clinic. Why do people not listen? It's happened three times today.

I have to go to court over the ex parte thing on Thursday afternoon. I'm nervous. I don't know anything about going to court. I've never even had a speeding ticket. In fact, I have been into a court room exactly once : in the 3rd grade our class took a tour of the courthouse. They let us sit in the jury box.

Take care of yourselves this week, everyone.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

It got worse, if you can even imagine that.

The ex was supposed to return L at 4pm on Saturday. He called and said he wanted to take him overnight again, and I said, "Ok, do you want X too?". Well he was mad that X didn't want to go with him on Friday so he said, "No, I don't have room for him." Well, then I remembered that I needed to have L on Sunday b/c we had plans with my family. I couldn't reach him on the phone, so I decided to go over to his apartment and pick L up. Well, he refuses to give me my son, is screaming and yelling at me the whole time. All the while L is crying for me and reaching out for me to take him. So asshole extraordinaire gives my baby to his 17 year old girlfriend and she takes him out of the room. I never stepped foot over the threshold, and was (somehow) remaining relatively calm. But he shoved me out the door and tried to slam my hands in the door(I had bruises on Sunday). I was hysterically crying by the time I got back to the car, called everyone I knew who might be able to help me. I finally calmed down and agreed to let him keep L again with the understanding that he'd be returned to me on Sunday at 12:30, at exFIL's house. 12:30 Sunday came and went, then I got a phone call saying he still wasn't giving him back. At this point panic turned to blind rage. We called the police, who weren't able to do anything b/c we don't have the custody arrangement finished yet. Everyone was so pissed off (very much an understatement, as I'm sure you can imagine). exMIL and her husband drove me to ex's apartment, where MIL went to the door with her husband standing behind her in case anything happened. L ran to MIL when the door opened and she scooped him up and handed him to her husband who then brought him to the car. I have never been so relieved in my life. MIL tried to talk to him, but he just screamed at her and slammed the door in her face. Monday she took me to the courthouse and I filed an ex parte order against him, and it was approved by the end of the day. I was also awarded full custody until the divorce settlement/custody agreement is set in stone. This means that he can't come near me or contact me in any way, and if he tries to take the kids his ass is going to jail.
When this whole separation/divorce thing started, I thought it would be so simple. There is no reason for there to be conflict, I don't understand what has happened to my ex-husband. He has lost his freaking mind.
All's well that ends well, I guess. But in the meantime....

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Why did my life turn into that show Divorce Court?

I really do not like the Jerry Springer-ish turn my life has taken. Not me, personally, but the situations surrounding my dumbass ex husband. He hasn't seen the kids in 19 days, ok? They were supposed to stay the night with my exMIL last night, she was picking them up from my house where my brother was watching them while I was at work (whew! what a sentence.). As she pulls into the driveway, he pulls in behind her and says he's going to take them overnight. Um, no he sure as hell isn't. You have to make plans for these things. You don't just show up and say "I'm taking them." I know what he thought. He thought X would be so excited to see him, he'd throw a fit about wanting to go so we'd let him. Turns out that wasn't the case. X didn't WANT to go with him at all. So let's just hope this teaches the bastard something. When your not-quite-four-year-old son doesn't trust you, what does that say? It says you're a worthless piece of shit, that's what. Lord. So, in continuance of the drama, I decide to get some liquor to "calm myself down." HA! I didn't ease into it slowly. I was puking by 7:30, drunkenly attempting a crossword puzzle in the back of People magazine by 8:00 and in bed by 9:00. Although I did get hungry around 9:30, but couldn't drive to get any food. So I made a pepper jack and roast beef sandwich on a Sara Lee bakery roll, and sobered up. I then proceded to read a little Harry Potter and ended up in bed at 11:00. Not so bad. The low point of the evening was not the puking (which i never do, what was the deal?) but apparently I called my friend HJ and got his voicemail,on which I left a long and rambling nonsensical message berating him for not having a greeting message on his voicemail, just his name.

Shifting gears, changing lanes...
Umm...the Yankees had a 9 game win streak, hooray! The Mets kept it from getting to 10 but at least they WON a few times. I have not been focusing on the sports much b/c most of my people are letting me down. Although, I was very excited for Rafael Nadal winning his 3rd consecutive French Open. He's so pretty....

Top 5 of the Top 40

Once again, ripping off Gypsy

1. Go to the Billboard #1 Hits listings (scroll down and you’ll see them separated by decades on the left in the sidebar)
2. Pick the year you turned 18
3. Get yourself nostalgic over the songs of the year
4. Pick 5 songs and write something about how these songs affected you
5. Pass it on to 5 more friends (but I'm not tagging anyone, so do what you like.)

Ok, so the music scene in the year 2000 wasn't that soulful and important. There are no Dylan or Stones...

1)Californication by The Red Hot Chili Peppers. This is the most serious of my choices. I played the shit out of that whole cd. I still listen to it.

2)The Real Slim Shady by Eminem. Marshall Mathers will always hold a place in my heart. I love a man who stirs up trouble...and has genuine talent. Don't fight me on this, people.

3)Oops I did it Again by the boob and bits flashing Miz Britney Spears. I was never a fan, but I swear I watched the Making the Video for this song every time it was on Mtv. Why? It is not good.

4)The Thong Song by Sisqo. How could this not make my top 5, LOL. I still have trouble realizing it's a REAL song.

5)Bye, Bye,Bye by (ha!)Nsync. I'll just flat admit it, folks. I was a hardcore fan. For all of my intellectualizing about music and movies, I fell for this plastic trap. I saw them three times in concert, every show was amazing, and I don't care what you think. I liked Hanson too, you wanna have a go at me for that??? LOL.

So there you go. All of the above are now in my sidebar, except for Bye, Bye, Bye. I couldn't find it. So instead, enjoy It's Gonna Be Me. Wow, I was cool.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Book meme...taken from Gypsy's page

A book that made you cry: The Diary of Anne Frank. I cry b/c I know what happens after the last entry. I almost can't take it.

A book that scared you: The Shining by Stephen King...but I didn't have to put it in the freezer.

A book that made you laugh: Running with Scissors by Augusten Bourroughs

A book that disgusted you: not sure...

A book you loved in elementary school: How to Eat Fried Worms

A book you loved in middle school: David Copperfield by Charles Dickens. I read it in the 6th grade and fell in love.

A book you loved in high school: Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger. Who didn't love this?

A book you hated in high school: The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck. Maybe b/c we spent an entire quarter on it. I would like to re-read it though, to see if it was as dreadful as I thought.

A book you loved in college: I read a lot of scripts in college...Sweeney Todd? Hamlet?

A book that challenged your identity: not sure on this one. My identity is challenged several times a day.

A series that you love: I'm a Harry Potter nerd, ok?

Your favorite horror book: Toss up between Bag of Bones by Stephen King and The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson

Your favorite science fiction book: I don't read Sci-fi...How about Ender's Game that's a good one.

Your favorite fantasy book: I really don't read fantasty...what counts as fantasy anyway? the Narnia books, do they count??

Your favorite mystery book: Not really a mystery, more of a horror-ish book. It's called Nazareth Hill, by a British author. I read it last year, the descriptions are so good you can see what is happening...and it's creepy.

Your favorite biography: EE Cummings. Love that man.

Your favorite “coming-of-age” book: Just As Long As We're Together by Judy Blume

Your favorite classic: Anything by Dickens.

Your favorite romance book: I've never read a real romance book...But I'll say the In The Garden Trilogy by Nora Roberts. They're more of a ghost story, but the romance is good too.

Your favorite book not on this list: The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold, She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb, The Poisonwood Bible

300 miles might not be far enough

I think 50/50 has changed to 60/40....or 70/30, I'm not sure. Maybe caring about someone else's problems wouldn't be that bad. Hmm...
My friend and fellow zombie movie fan HJ and I have developed a habit of spending hours on the phone. "Talking about what?" you ask. Well, nothing important. Just movies and editing and directing and cinematography...all that stuff. I really try not to geek out about it on here, b/c it generally annoys people, but to me, that stuff is always more important than the plot. I was a film/media student. Love it, live it, breathe it. Film, film, film. Movies, movies, movies. I am a nerd. And I've found my counterpart. HJ is a film maker, who currently works in a law firm. He is one of the most talented amateurs I have ever seen. This is not spoken from bias, but seriously. He's one of those people who have so much talent you wish you could bottle and sell it. You'd make a killing.
I know this post is dull and random, but HJ thoughts have been floating around in my head all day. This pisses me off, b/c didn't I SWEAR I wouldn't get all boycrazy and weird? I'm sure I made that decision at some point. Oh well. Just further proof that I am a heart follower more than a head follower. I tend to get overzealous, carried away. But I also burn out quickly too. Maybe this time around I'll find someone else as commitment-phobic as I am. That way, if we get married, we'll both be uncomfortable with the commitment part, and we'll try extra hard. Or else I'll just never get married again and become a perpetual dater. Perpetual dater, ha. Doesn't that mean prostitute in some countries??

Friday, June 08, 2007

Quizzes, b/c I know you all love them

Your Love Life is Like Annie Hall

"A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies."

You believe that love (if you even believe in love!) is a very complicated thing.
Maybe love is pain. Or maybe it's all a big therapy session. You're still figuring it out.

Your love style: Brainy and a bit neurotic

Your Hollywood Ending Will Be: Realistic and reflective
What Movie Is Your Love Life Like?

Annie Hall? Yeah, I'll take that.

Your Love Song Is

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing by Jack Johnson

"Maybe you've been through this before
But it's my first time so please ignore
The next few lines cause they're directed at you
I can't always be waiting, waiting on you
I can't always be playing, playing your fool"

You've been waiting for love, and you're not going to wait any longer!
What Love Song Are You?

Hmm...well this is wrong. I plan to just keep waiting.

You Are 32 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.
What Age Do You Act?

Well, at least I didn't wind up as 75, right?

Shine on, you crazy diamond

Dear God, please forgive me for blogging about Paris Hilton. Amen.

Ok, I actually feel bad for her. She's sent to jail, let out after 3 days, and then sent back? I think I'd be screaming, "It's not right!" and crying as I was dragged from the courtroom too. I really don't understand the fascination with her. At all. She doesn't DO anything. Why do people care? Because of the cash and the name I guess. Personally, I was much more interested in Ally Hillfiger and her Jamie friend on that Mtv show Rich Girls a few years ago. I never missed an episode. The Simple Life was irritating after the first season. And is Ally ever in the news? Nope. Smart girl.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Mocked? Me? What?

I used a calculator to figure 5 times 32. Apparently this deems me incompetent. I was chastised by a customer's husband (who wasn't even in the store, she was on the phone with him) for using a calculator. How did he even know I used the calculator? Because she told him. "Oh, look" she says, "She's pulling out the calculator." Well, sorry Math Nazi, I can't do figures on command. Lord. Want the irony? She herself is a math teacher, yet asked me what 5 x 32 was. Don't mock me for lack of math skills. I control the prices, lady, remember that. I will not hesitate to overcharge you for that sparkly bulletin board trimmer if you have an attitude.
Also according to the one side of the phone conversation I heard, an armadillo committed suicide by jumping out in front of her van. There is only a shell left. the rest of it is stuck up under her vehicle, glued to the air conditioning unit. Niice. She also complained about me helping other customers while she waited to be checked out, and then said, "Your pen doesn't work very well" when she signed her credit card receipt. I wish I could deep fry these people in oil and serve them to the other annoying customers who wander through the door. I really enjoy so many things about my job but I think retail is making me a little cranky. As if I needed to be MORE cranky about things. The two times in my life I ever smoked pot, I had the same thought. The first time I just became tired and irritable. The second time I wanted to see if that was a fluke. Nope. More tired, more bitchy. So I say, what's the point? I just don't get the draw. I am tired and irritable 85% of the time anyway, why make myself that way on PURPOSE??

--Random comment for the day...Our UPS delivery guy is really nice. He's very attractive and his name is Lee. Every time he drops something off I get "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover" stuck in my head. He was here today, so guess what?

My little brother is watching the boys for me today while I'm at work. Since my friend A is coming over for dinner, I'm a little worried about what state the house will be in when I get home. K is 14 and can be known to make bigger messes than X and L put together. He also eats all of my food. It's hard enough to keep groceries stocked with two little boys, I'm terrified of what will happen as they get older. K just graduated from the 8th grade on 5/15. He has a friend who is in love with me and finds excuses to stay the night with K on Fridays when he watches the kids for me. That way, he can see me, b/c my mom will pick him up, then come to my house to get my brother. He's actually pretty cute, so last time I told him to wait 4 years and then call me. I'm not looking to turn into Mary Kay Letourneau (or however you spell it.) anytime soon. I have had only one slight brush with the too young thing. I was 19 and suffering from the one breakup that really put me in a tailspin, and slept with the brother of an acquaintance. That brother turned out to be 16. My friends have never let me live this down, and every time I had a boyfriend after that, and now that I'm venturing out among the singles again, they ask, "How old are they?" Usually this is asked in unison by about 6 people. I'm not so appreciative of this. Speaking of the dating thing, my ex-step-father-in-law is trying to set me up with a friend of his. I swear, if I hear the phrase "he's really nice and has a good job" come out of anyone else's mouth I will punch them. I will. Because apparently, every available man in town is "really nice and has a good job". But no one is setting me up with the RIGHT nice, gainfully employed man. I have days where I'm really lonely and really, really want a boyfriend, but then I have days where I feel like a man invading my territory is just not acceptable. I have enough on my plate with my own issues, and taking care of my kids. Do I really want to have to care about ANOTHER person?? It's about 50/50 right now. Unless Johnny Depp happens to become single and move to Missouri. Then brothers and sisters, I'm all about commitment.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Hazards of the trade

Wow. You never know who you'll run into working retail. You'd think in a place called "The Teacher Store", it'd be pretty safe. Matronly-type ladies buying flash cards and bulletin board sets and what not, right? Well, I was unprepared for the new young male teacher and his dumb friends. The guy who was the teacher was fine, he was actually looking for stuff and buying. His friend however, was a different story. He was swimming in cologne (seriously, the store smelled like him for an hour. my boss was gone while they were here, came back about thirty minutes later and was like, "what is that smell??") and LITERALLY following me around the store as I was rearranging shelves to put out a new shipment of bookmarks, postcards, cutesy little hall passes, etc...I think I learned his whole life history in the 20 or so minutes he was here. For instance, he is from Mississippi, here visiting his friend. He has bad handwriting and is unmotivated, is not sure if he will finish his degree this year or not. He spends approximately 15 minutes on his hair each morning and uses an expensive gel he buys from the hairdresser (why would you tell someone this, really?). Two years ago he was "soooooo drunk" he passed out on the sidewalk and was ran over by a guy on a bicycle. His ex-girlfriend drives a vespa, and once he fell off. What random crap. Maybe this is why I don't have a boyfriend. I write off all the vespa-falling-off, hair-gel-buying creeps as losers. Maybe he was really, REALLY a winner. Um, no. I nodded politely and smiled occasionally so as not to appear mean, that has to count for something.
Oh, and I have to share about my Thursday, b/c it was the best day ever, relatively speaking. The Ex went crying to his dad b/c guess what? They started garnishing his wages to take out child support. That's what happens when you don't pay up, bastard. He hasn't given me a dime in months. Now apparently he can't make the rent on his fancy new apartment, or pay for his fancy new car. He is so, so bad with money. He is going to drown in bills. He was ALREADY drowning in bills. I get collection notices for him in the mail all the time, AND he has already had one court appearance for writing bad checks, and two more coming up (plus court dates for failing to register a vehicle in his own name and driving w/o insurance). And speaking of said fancy new car, the fuel pump broke. Ha! Also, I learned that my ex-MIL and her husband are NOT moving (hooray!!), my friend D came and mowed my lawn, and my friend A burned me a copy of the new Maroon 5 cd. What a fabulous Thursday I had. It's the little things.
Have a phenomenal weekend!!