Thursday, June 07, 2007

Mocked? Me? What?

I used a calculator to figure 5 times 32. Apparently this deems me incompetent. I was chastised by a customer's husband (who wasn't even in the store, she was on the phone with him) for using a calculator. How did he even know I used the calculator? Because she told him. "Oh, look" she says, "She's pulling out the calculator." Well, sorry Math Nazi, I can't do figures on command. Lord. Want the irony? She herself is a math teacher, yet asked me what 5 x 32 was. Don't mock me for lack of math skills. I control the prices, lady, remember that. I will not hesitate to overcharge you for that sparkly bulletin board trimmer if you have an attitude.
Also according to the one side of the phone conversation I heard, an armadillo committed suicide by jumping out in front of her van. There is only a shell left. the rest of it is stuck up under her vehicle, glued to the air conditioning unit. Niice. She also complained about me helping other customers while she waited to be checked out, and then said, "Your pen doesn't work very well" when she signed her credit card receipt. I wish I could deep fry these people in oil and serve them to the other annoying customers who wander through the door. I really enjoy so many things about my job but I think retail is making me a little cranky. As if I needed to be MORE cranky about things. The two times in my life I ever smoked pot, I had the same thought. The first time I just became tired and irritable. The second time I wanted to see if that was a fluke. Nope. More tired, more bitchy. So I say, what's the point? I just don't get the draw. I am tired and irritable 85% of the time anyway, why make myself that way on PURPOSE??

--Random comment for the day...Our UPS delivery guy is really nice. He's very attractive and his name is Lee. Every time he drops something off I get "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover" stuck in my head. He was here today, so guess what?

My little brother is watching the boys for me today while I'm at work. Since my friend A is coming over for dinner, I'm a little worried about what state the house will be in when I get home. K is 14 and can be known to make bigger messes than X and L put together. He also eats all of my food. It's hard enough to keep groceries stocked with two little boys, I'm terrified of what will happen as they get older. K just graduated from the 8th grade on 5/15. He has a friend who is in love with me and finds excuses to stay the night with K on Fridays when he watches the kids for me. That way, he can see me, b/c my mom will pick him up, then come to my house to get my brother. He's actually pretty cute, so last time I told him to wait 4 years and then call me. I'm not looking to turn into Mary Kay Letourneau (or however you spell it.) anytime soon. I have had only one slight brush with the too young thing. I was 19 and suffering from the one breakup that really put me in a tailspin, and slept with the brother of an acquaintance. That brother turned out to be 16. My friends have never let me live this down, and every time I had a boyfriend after that, and now that I'm venturing out among the singles again, they ask, "How old are they?" Usually this is asked in unison by about 6 people. I'm not so appreciative of this. Speaking of the dating thing, my ex-step-father-in-law is trying to set me up with a friend of his. I swear, if I hear the phrase "he's really nice and has a good job" come out of anyone else's mouth I will punch them. I will. Because apparently, every available man in town is "really nice and has a good job". But no one is setting me up with the RIGHT nice, gainfully employed man. I have days where I'm really lonely and really, really want a boyfriend, but then I have days where I feel like a man invading my territory is just not acceptable. I have enough on my plate with my own issues, and taking care of my kids. Do I really want to have to care about ANOTHER person?? It's about 50/50 right now. Unless Johnny Depp happens to become single and move to Missouri. Then brothers and sisters, I'm all about commitment.