Friday, January 11, 2008

Do you wanna touch (yeah!) Do ya wanna touch (yeah!) Do ya wanna touch me there?

By "there" I mean my back. By "touch" I mean, a long hard massage.

I feel like I've been hit by a truck. I am walking around like an 87 and a half year old man on a 30 degree day.

How do I remedy this? Do I go to UPS and say, "Even though you're the one who drives the big brown truck, and lugs large heavy boxes around for about 10 hours a day, will you please rub the back of your woman who sits at a computer and does nothing overly strenuous?" I think I'd feel guilty. And if I play it out like some kind of romantic thing and start on him, it'll turn into sex, which will lead to him falling asleep. And he is the soundest sleeper I have ever met. So now I'm even more physically weary, but not sleepy, and I have to listen to him snore.

This is not a winning situation, is it? I should just fork over the dollars and head to a professional, shouldn't I?

So here's what's been on this chick's mind so far this morning....
--Very few people participated in the "ask me a question" thing yesterday. You get one more shot and then I'm letting Jay fill in the rest of the questions. Whether he wants to or not. He's been recruited.

--I've been getting lots of hang up calls at work. I think I have a stalker. Thinking about investing in one of those Taser/MP3 players that Claudia mentioned a few days ago...Tunes and safety. Perfect combo!

--You know what? Maybe it's the mailman! Remember the mailman that I thought was gay, turns out he's not, and he's a little obsessed with me? Maybe that's who's calling...He did tell me I was radiantly beautiful today, so if he's the stalker, that's ok.

--I have the solution to the whole writer's strike thing. They should just hire us bloggers. Lord knows we're pretty darn funny. Not me so much, certainly not today, but some of you are freakin' hilarious on a consistent basis. That's better than the ones getting paid, as they're only funny about 73.2% of the time.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I'm sure I'll have something worth writing about next week. Stay tuned!