Wednesday, January 02, 2008

C'est Janvier!

Wow, I really did learn something in high school French!

Public school isn't so bad after all!

So who got drunk and who got lucky? Any exciting NYE stories to tell? UPS and I hung out with our kids, got them to bed around 10PM, and then the two of us stayed up and played Battleship.

Mama needed a drink and was a little desperate after all those kids running around her. But Grape Crush and Wild Turkey 101 don't mix. That is my Public Service Announcement for the day. Take it seriously, folks.

It was the worst thing I've ever had in my mouth.


I think the new year might call for a new job. I've started hating this place beyond all explanation. I used to truly love it. I still love the concept. I love our product and the possiblities...I do not love working for someone who can't seem to get the ideas off the table and out the door. I don't fault her, really. She's busy. But my livlihood is hanging in the balance. My kids need a house to live in and food to eat...and a mother who isn't stressed out 85% of the time.

Now, on to resolutions. I don't generally do new year's resolutions, because they're kind of like promises. I don't make promises because I don't always follow through on keeping them. Therefore, I do not make resolutions, because I can't keep those either. I think that's fair to everyone involved, right?

This year I'll throw a few out there for fun, mmkay?

This year I resolve to:

1. Lose 10 of the 15 pounds I've gained since UPS and I have been together. I am very vain about the size of my jeans.

2. Kick Matt Lauer in the face. Hard.
(That seemed to make everyone laugh on Thursday, so I thought I'd throw it out there again. I'm a one-trick pony, so sue me.)

3. Stop over-analyzing things and learn to relax.
(If this one happens, it'll be a miracle.)

4. Move to a new house.

5. Find a new job.

6. Stop putting razor blades and acid into kids' Halloween candy.

7. Release Rudolph into the wild.

8. Stop instigating fights between small mammals.

9. Stop cracking my knuckles. This is the one thing I do that drives UPS crazy. (This is on here for good measure...really, I say, I'll quit cracking my knuckles when he stops snoring. Let's see how that goes.)

10. Never, ever drink Grape Crush and Wild Turkey 101.

Ok, so there's ten resolutions for this year. I expect all of you to hold me accountable.

Happy New to the Year.


(11. Stop trying to make slang work for me.)