Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Thursday Thirteen : Oh, and then this one time...

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No real topic today, just Thirteen Things That Popped Into My Head.

1)You know what's a weird word? Fork. (I like Drew Barrymore, ok?)

2)You know when people ask you, "If you could be any animal you wanted..."
What? Why in the world would you want to be an animal in the first place? I for one, have no desire to lick myself and get fur all in my mouth (oh lord, I can just hear the comments on that statement), I don't want to shit in a box of sand, and I don't want to have people aiming their cars at me, should I be out for a leisurely stroll.

3)I could really go for a slice of pizza right now. Hot, melty, greasy goodness....*makes Homer Simpson noise*

4)I haven't had sex with UPS since Thanksgiving and I'm about to lose my mind. I keep having these fantasies where he walks into work and...then....I....Jesus I need to get laid. We'll finally get to be alone Friday night.

5)I sometimes get crushes on fictional characters. Snape in Harry Potter for one, Jack Sparrow for another...With Snape, I had this whole drawn out thing about how I could be the Muggle Studies teacher at Hogwarts and win his heart...It was a kinky sex fantasy thing...I'm a freak, sue me.

6)There's this song out called "Apologize" by Timbaland and One Republic. I love that song. Every time I hear it though, I think of R.E.H., because of his dealings with "The One"...Hmm...guess you'll have to read his blog to know what I'm talking about.

7)Speaking of songs that remind me of people, Collective Soul has a song called "Hollywood" that I sing to annoy UPS. His nickname is Hollywood, so it's fitting. I just change the lyrics to make it gender appropriate.

8)I played clarinet in the band from 6th to 8th grade. My teacher had a scratchy voice that made my eyes water. His wife came into the store yesterday.

9)When I was a wild 'n crazy heathen, I used to get drunk a lot. And I flashed people on a fairly regular basis. Nearly all of my friends have pictures of my boobs. I'm not ashamed of those photos. In fact, I like to show them off and say, "See, this is what they looked like before I had kids..." And that's what they'll look like again one day, after my sugar daddy buys me a new pair.

10)I like Sugar Daddies...Like, the candy. They're pretty good...yeah.

11)You know what's a weird word? Fork. Wait, I already said that...but seriously. Say it over and over again. Also, Llama.


Llama llama llama.

12)My boys love the new Hairspray movie. We watch it several times a week. I have a mini-crush on Zac Efron, but only in that movie. Also, Who knew James Marsden could sing and dance? And I didn't think he had range beyond X-Men. Cool. By the way, Michelle Pfieffer should never, ever sing. Ever.

13)I do get to go see Wicked next weekend. I made the plans work. Super excited.

Mkay, so that's what you get when I just sit and let my mind wander.
Happy Thursday!