Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Sound Bites

The trip wasn't all snow and blow, we did have a pretty fun time. Here are a few moments I think you'll enjoy. Either that, or they were total 'had to be there' moments, whatever.
A refresher on acronyms, E1 is my male married friend, E2 is his wife, J is our gay male friend.

(Driving home on Sunday)
E1 - What do they do with all that snow they push over off the road?
J- Well, in like, New York City they have a big dump where they take it. Like, a big place just to dump snow.
Me - Yeah, in the summer, they let kids swim there.
J, turning around with an amazed expression (and being serious) - Really?
Me - (deadpan) Not at all. No.

(raucous laughter from E1 and E2)


(Saturday night, as we're all laying in bed, E2's 3 year old cousin comes downstairs, I see her first and say, "We have a visitor". Now, E2 has taken her back upstairs...)

J- When you said "we have a visitor" I got scared. I 'bout pulled out my 9.
(E1 and I giggling)
E1 - Your nine? Oh come on, you know it's only a 4. (laughter)
J - Well bend over bitch and find out!
(hysterical laughter from the sleep deprived)


(Sunday, leaving brunch)
E1 - Goddammit, look at all these idiots without lights on. Nobody can fucking drive!
J - Hey, man, where's your Christmas cheer?
Me - Well, if he's out, I've got a flask of it in my purse.
(laughter, laughter, laughter)


(Sunday, shopping)
E2 - This is the gayest strip of stores I've ever seen.
J - (Giggling)I know, isn't it great?
Me - Best Buy, Old Navy, and PetSmart. Yep, gay.
J - Yeah, we go to Old Navy and buy new pajamas to snuggle in while watching season 1 of Will and Grace on dvd in front of our new flatscreen, while we feed treats to our goddamned fru-fru dog! It's like heaven!


(Saturday, dinner)

E1 - SK, you can push your plate back a little farther (it was sitting close to the edge of the table)
Me - The waiter said it was hot and I think it's still (reaches to touch plate, burns hand) Fuck! Yeah, it's still hot!
J - Well your shirt is red, so if the sauce gets on you, it will blend.
Me - Actually, my shirt is more of a wine color. His (points to waiter) shirt is red.
Waiter (seeing us point, but not hearing everything we said) - What are you pulling me into, here?
J - Well, what would you prefer we pull you into? I'm gay and she's (points to me) horny, take your pick!
Waiter (shocked and slightly confused) - What? Umm...do you need anything else, cause, um... I can take your plates....(hurries away.)


So, yeah. Fun times, fun times.