My brain hurts.
Do you ever feel like you're just taking in way too much information? Like, people just keep talking and talking to you until you just can't process it anymore?
I have been very cranky and out of sorts lately. I almost feel like I'm sabotaging myself, if that makes sense. Take L for instance. He's great, amazing, wonderful...human perfection, basically. And when I'm with him, I'm all fluttery and lovey, blahblahblah...but sometimes when I sit around and think about him, I almost hate him. Yeah, that doesn't make sense, does it? Why does he have to be so great? Why do I want to be around him all of the time??? I guess I'm just a control freak, and I'm emotional on top of that. So not feeling in control of my emotions is driving me crazy.
I also feel like I'm at the mental breaking point...for going too long without any real time to myself. I haven't had any "me" time in so long...I can't even remember! It's been over a year, I know that. Probably before X was born, so 4 years. I was reading Craze's last post, and got depressed, because I don't even know how to survive in silence anymore. I don't know how to relax, I don't know how to slow down, even for a second. I have this terrible need to be all things to all people, and I'm starting to realize that maybe there isn't enough of me to go around.
It's a good thing that realizing you have a problem is the first step to recovery...That means I've got a fighting chance at fixing the issue.
Hmmm...think I'll find a quiz or meme to lighten this place up later today...
posted by Samantha_K @ 10:48 AM
Comments: 8
