Friday, May 11, 2007

Truckload sale! Mattresses and bedding!!

That's what the sign across the street at the furniture store says. Hard up for a post title.

I've been thinking about life lately, and how mine really is not so bad. I have had bad things happen such as, being shot at by my friends drunken father when I was 7 years old (long story), being in a car accident and nearly dying in 2002 (flipped end over end and barrel rolled...long story), my husband leaving me for a 16 year old....But honestly, what makes my problems any worse than anyone else's? If everyone stopped to think about that before they opened their mouths to complain, maybe the world would be a much nicer (and quieter) place to live. For instance, are my problems worse than the friend of mine who had a brother commit suicide? Are his problems worse than said brother? And were the brother's problems really any worse than say, a 2 year old starving in Africa wearing nothing but an old tee shirt and shoes with no laces? (And hey, that kid has it better than the one down the road with no shoes, right?) Why is it so hard for us to just open our eyes, look around and think, it could be so much worse, so I'm just going to appreciate the things I DO have.
I was remembering when I was 18 and my boyfriend who was on drugs and drank too much (oh, but I could CHANGE him!!) was all I was wrapped up in. His whole tragic persona. True, his mom had died from cancer and his dad in jail for stealing her pain meds and selling them, but so what? He was so smart and incredibly handsome and capable. But he just didn't have what it took to open up his eyes and see that he had something huge. He had life. One of his very own. He'd rather wallow in self pity and be self destructive than just live. I had written a whole long post about this one time and it was like I was reliving it moment by moment. By the time I was 2/3s of the way finished I was angry and snapping at people who were trying to talk to me, and I had a headache. People who wallow and complain are like poison, and I don't wish to be one of those people any more.
I probably won't turn into Suzie Sunshine or anything, but no more pity parties and whining. What does it get you, anyway?