Saturday, March 24, 2007

Week 2 of the internet revival...I'm like a kid in a candy store!!

So what's been happening....let's see....
--Last week for fun I looked on to see if anyone from my town was on there, and I found an ad for a guy I went to high school with. His little ad thingy was trying to sound all sincere, and maybe he really was being sincere, but all I remember about him from school is that he was a moronic asshole. So after that I was sucked in to the whole personal ad thing and kept looking. My Lord. Some of the sweetest most sensitive guys I've known in my life don't drip as much sap as some of these people. Like I really believe all this mushy gushy stuff they write. I guess I have just become very cynical. Oh! That reminds me...Orhan, you'll get a kick out of this. The ex and I were fighting over something the other day(by the other day, I mean like, a month ago), and out of no where he says, "Why are you so mad about me cheating on you, I know all about the internet guy." "What internet guy?" says me.
"The one from Australia," says he, "You wrote once about your fantasy being ruined b/c he said his accent wasn't very strong. You were flirting with him, and you must have been cheating on me." So after laughing for about an hour, I say, "Yes, yes that's right. O is my internet boyfriend who lives 3/4 of the way around the world. And by the way, we're getting married next week, via email. We're going with a very classic color scheme, you know? White background, black font..." But who cares, I can flirt shamelessly now, right?
--You are about to become aware of the most irresponsible thing I've done since I was 20. Back in January, my friends took me out for the first time in years. I was very uncomfortable at first, but after a gin and tonic and a couple midori sours, I was great. The music was loud and all of my friends were there, it was fabulous, just like old times. Well one of my friends I hadn't seen in about 2 years showed up with his cousin. Somehow the cousin and I became practically attached at the hip, and I didn't mind b/c he was beautiful. I just kept staring at him b/c it was that insane kind of attractive you know? We ended up leaving together. At this point I didn't care that I was being stupid. We get to the house and it's craziness. Exciting, exhilarating, etc...but then the letdown. Have you ever been to a fair or an amusement park and there's this ride that looks so great? All the flashing lights and bright colors and you just HAVE to ride? Except then you get on and suddenly you're being flipped around and turned upside down and it's over in about 30 seconds? Yeah, it was kind of like that. I didn't even leave my number, I just got out of there. Attractive isn't everything. I figure if this is the worst thing I do, I'm in pretty good shape overall.
--A few Saturdays ago I was in WalMart (of course I was, I'm always in that place), and it was early, about 8:30 am. There was a group of kids in there, well I say kids, probably 20ish. One of them had a mohawk thing going on, this skinny strip of candy-red hair sticking up a good 5 inches. Now, first of all, kudos to any hair cutting professional who can figure out how to get hair to look like that. I nearly asked him what he used to get his hair to stay up, but I didn't. Then I was struck by the image of him getting ready in the morning. So picture if you will this kid who looks like he's trying to resurrect the Sex Pistols standing in front of a mirror desperately attempting to get his hair to stand straight up and not move. Then imagine him debating which eyebrow, nose, and earrings to wear that day. We're not done yet b/c then he has to stand in front of the closet, pick out the perfect pair of Dickies and fake vintage t-shirt. Top it off with a beat up pair of black boots and his dad's cast off leather jacket and the ensemble is complete. It probably takes him way longer than me to get ready in the morning, and I have two kids to contend with. Have you ever taken a shower while simultaneously trying to keep your kid from swimming in the toilet or pouring an entire bottle of lotion in the floor? It puts life into perspective, lol.
--I have a little page of notes that I jot down through the week in case I have nothing to write about. I found this and it was amusing.
3/22/07 - Ben and Jerry's Creme Brulee ice cream -- better than sex, but this is coming from a woman who hasn't had any since January....a few hours later...Ben and Jerry's Creme Brulee is NOT better than sex. Sex you can pretty much enjoy every time you have it. Eating 1/2 a pint of ice cream in one sitting? Not so enjoyable. I feel like exploding and dying.

I am so happy to be back here, you have no idea. Love you all, and enjoy your week!